Dr. Francis Collins in his recent book, The Road to Wisdom: On Truth, Science, Faith, and Trust, says there are four significant criteria that can help us decide whether to trust an individual or an institution: integrity, competence, aligned values, and humility. He depicts these graphically as four equal, interlocked, puzzle pieces. He notes that there is real danger when we overweight the importance of aligned values at the expense of integrity, competence, and humility. This can lead to polarization, fear, and violence.
While President Franklin Roosevelt famously said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” it was Eleanor Roosevelt who fully lived that truth. As our longest serving First Lady, she convened interesting and innovative thinkers at Val Kill, the retreat she preferred over being at the White House. My American History teacher in high school told us, “Eleanor Roosevelt was a wonderful woman. Too bad she married such a creep.” Franklin was not a faithful husband. I don’t know if Eleanor forgave him, but she certainly was fearless.
Margaret Meade, an American cultural anthropologist, said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed individuals can change the world. In fact, it's the only thing that ever has." She and Eleanor Roosevelt were friends. I would have loved being in their circle.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about Chief Horse, the grandson of Crazy Horse. Years ago, Bill and I visited the Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument in Montana. Chief Horse happened to be there leading a peace pipe ceremony. We were invited to sit outside the tribal circle as observers. Three generations of Lakota men passed the peace pipe as they shared their experiences fighting in wars: World War II, Vietnam, the Gulf War. Unfortunately, the list would be longer now. I was horrified to hear that Native Americans were used as human minesweepers. In short, they were expendable. When the pipe was returned to Chief Horse, he put his hand over his heart and said, “We will never forget. And we have no need for revenge.” He invited us to dance with them.
There are millions of people in this country, and billions in the world, who feel afraid right now. Some fear for their lives, and rightfully so. Others are afraid of losing what is near and dear to them, including their livelihoods. Some are afraid of what they read on social media, where content is not fact-checked. Still others fear the unknown, as settled law is blatantly abused.
What if we share our stories in small circles, place our hands over our hearts together, have no need for revenge, and dance? That’s what love looks like—forgiveness, not fear.