Walking Toward Trillium

March 2, 2023 was a big day for me. I met new friends, made a big decision, and got new shoes. Good things come in threes, just like the petals of Trillium, one of spring’s first wildflowers. Although March roared in like a lion this year, some of the seeds I have planted in life are starting to sprout.

Red Trillium is sometimes known as Wake Robin, as it often blooms when the first robins appear, as if they were waking from winter. It’s interesting that Trillium has also been referred to as Birthroot because of its medicinal use during childbirth. Spring is a time of rebirth. Each year, I celebrate the spiritual presence of my daughter, Grace Gaia, on April 30. Maybe she is sending me flowers to remind and encourage me.

My new shoes are more comfortable for walking than for standing still or pivoting. My feet have long been a metaphor for life. I have been patiently problem-solving for a while now. It’s time to go for a walk.

In a recent health assessment, I was asked to name as many words as I could think of in one minute beginning with the letter “f”. I swallowed my first thought: Really? One whole minute of f-words? I did well without offending anyone present. As I think back on the experience, my thoughts rest on freedom, friends, and fun. What a lovely invitation for my future. What will walk with me? My f-word answer is forgiveness. It’s a gateway to Grace.

I have always considered myself pro-choice, but I have occasionally neglected to make my own choices, at least consciously. I recently found myself explaining to friends that I am choosing now to care for myself as I have long cared for others. This requires some self-forgiveness. It makes space for Grace.

Several of the best choices I made in the past involved creating community. Now I am invited to join one. Although it is not an easy choice, it’s a “could” not a “should”. I think Grace is being mischievous in asking me to let go of the familiar, the frivolous, and what I thought was the forever.

Wake Robin is a Continuing Care Retirement Community in Shelburne, Vermont. It is a resident-powered non-profit corporation near Lake Champlain that values community and independence, the environment and sustainability, and dignity and diversity. This summer, I will be moving in with 400 fascinating people. I will have my own cottage, my solitude in community. There are several writers’ groups on campus. Trillium is Wake Robin’s resident-written publication. Grace is in the mood for Mischief.

I am slowly waking from winter and waiting for robins.